Safety

Our primary members skew 55+, which is the demographic romance scammers target the most aggressively. Much of what you’ll read below is obvious to younger daters and invaluable to older ones. If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while, please read all of it.

What we do

• Every photo is verified. When you join, you take a short selfie. We match it against your uploaded photos to confirm it’s really you. Profiles with a verified badge have passed.
• Optional ID verification. Paid members can verify a government ID and display an “ID verified” badge. This is never required, but it’s a strong trust signal in both directions.
• Scam patterns are flagged. Every message is checked for romance-scam signatures (money requests, gift cards, crypto, “stuck overseas,” urgency pressure). When we see one, we warn the recipient before they reply and route the message to our moderation team.
• Image and text moderation. Photos are scanned for explicit, violent, or weapons content before they go live. Messages are scanned for harassment and hate.
• Reports get reviewed quickly. We aim to triage every report within 24 hours. For urgent safety concerns, we review immediately.
• No ads, no data sales. The only incentive we have is to make your experience good.

What you can do

Before a message turns into a date

• Look for the verified photo badge before starting a conversation. Unverified profiles are possible; we’d rather you knew.
• Reverse image search a photo if something feels off. Google Lens or TinEye are free and take a minute. Scammers reuse photos of real people across many dating sites.
• Do a video call before meeting in person. Five minutes on FaceTime or WhatsApp video answers a lot of questions.
• Keep the conversation on Leftovers until you’ve met in person. Our moderation only protects you inside the app. A new match asking you to switch to WhatsApp or text is a yellow flag, not always red, but worth noticing.

Meeting in person

• Meet somewhere public. A busy coffee shop, a restaurant, a walk in a park during the day — not a home, not a hotel, not anywhere you’d be alone with a stranger.
• Arrive and leave separately. Your own car, your own Uber, your own transit. Don’t give out your home address.
• Tell a friend. Name, profile link, where you’re meeting, when you expect to be home. Set a check-in time. If plans change, text them.
• Keep your drink in sight. Order for yourself.
• Trust your gut. If a meeting feels wrong, leave. You don’t owe anyone time, politeness, or an explanation.

Romance scam red flags

Romance scams follow patterns. One of these alone isn’t proof. Several of them together almost always are.

• “Stuck” somewhere far away. An oil rig, a deployment, a business trip to another country, a cruise that won’t end — anywhere that conveniently prevents them from meeting you.
• Military, doctor, or engineer abroad. These are the three most common cover stories.
• Won’t video call. Always an excuse. Camera broken, bad connection, religious reasons, embarrassment about appearance. A real person will video eventually.
• Intense affection too fast. Love declarations within a few days. Nicknames. Plans for a shared future before you’ve met.
• A sudden crisis. A medical emergency, a customs issue, a frozen bank account, a business opportunity that requires short-term help. There’s always a dollar figure.
• Payment in gift cards or crypto. Because they’re untraceable. No real emergency is resolved with Google Play or Bitcoin.
• Pressure and urgency. “I need this today.” “Don’t tell anyone.” “You’re the only one who can help.”

If any of this is happening, stop. Report the profile from the conversation page. Block them. If you’ve already sent money, contact your bank immediately and file a complaint with the FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov. There is no shame here — these crews are organized and practiced. You are not alone.

Block and report

Every profile and conversation has Block and Report buttons. Blocking is silent — the other person isn’t notified. Reporting tells us what’s happening and sends the profile to moderation.

If you’re in immediate danger

Call 911 (or your local emergency number). A dating site isn’t the first place to report a crime in progress — the police are.

Resources

• FBI — Romance scams
• FTC — Romance scammers’ favorite lies
• AARP — Scams & fraud
• IC3 — Report cybercrime

Questions

Anything not covered here — or if something feels off and you’d like us to look — email hello@leftovers.love. We read every message.